Friday, May 16, 2008
I am OFFENDED
I am sitting in a cafe in Chicago. A man in a Hawaiian shirt is singing opera, sometimes to the tune of Music Box Dancer, sometimes not - about the WWE. I hate open mic-night poetry readings (sorry Michelle!). I would have included a picture but I didn't want to gawk.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Mediocrity
Today is one of those glorious days with rain and thunder and a day off of work. It is DARK at 10am. I LOVE it.
I have been sitting on an exciting story for two weeks now, not having the time to blog, and kind of liking the privilege of exclusive knowledge. But let me tell you how exciting tax day was this year!
As usual, I filed early, sent my stuff certified mail and have already received a small refund. I'm on top of that kind of thing. However, on April 15th (a Tuesday, I'll always remember) I was having a painting party at my new apartment (oh yeah - I've moved). One of my friends came over and was telling us about his rotten day - how he seemed to have the anti-Midas touch. Late into the evening, he mentioned that he had yet to pay his taxes. !!!!! I don't do that kind of non-conformity. So, after finishing the kitchen wall, we put his bike in the back of my van and headed downtown to a post office that was touted as being open until midnight that night.
It was a quarter to midnight and anybody downtown that late on a Tuesday night is usually up to no good. I wish I could convey our astounded reactions to the bustle we encountered in approaching the post office. We were busy looking at addresses so we wouldn't pass it and suddenly found ourselves in the midst of a mysterious and desperate traffic jam. Routed to the side by police, I rolled down my window only to have a member of the special forces of the United States Post Office hold out a sack to me and ask for my taxes. Quickly slapping extra stamps on the envelopes, we shoved them out the window only then seeing that we were near the post office. Being pushed and prodded forward by frantic last minute tax payers and workers determined to keep things orderly, we found ourselves on Lake Shore Drive a mere eight minutes later dazed by the whole event. I really feel like I experienced tax day this year! I know that next year I'll pay early, as I always do, but at midnight on the 15th, I'll know what is out there and I can go to bed smugly knowing what I'm missing.
In other news: A man in India plans on being lifted by a helicopter by his ponytail; IronMan came out this weekend and I hear it is ******* awesome; I heard NPR do a bit on Grand Theft Auto IV yesterday, and many of the show's callers were similarly eloquent; and this Saturday is the Kentucky Derby (to find out how much racehorses pee, click here).
I have been sitting on an exciting story for two weeks now, not having the time to blog, and kind of liking the privilege of exclusive knowledge. But let me tell you how exciting tax day was this year!
As usual, I filed early, sent my stuff certified mail and have already received a small refund. I'm on top of that kind of thing. However, on April 15th (a Tuesday, I'll always remember) I was having a painting party at my new apartment (oh yeah - I've moved). One of my friends came over and was telling us about his rotten day - how he seemed to have the anti-Midas touch. Late into the evening, he mentioned that he had yet to pay his taxes. !!!!! I don't do that kind of non-conformity. So, after finishing the kitchen wall, we put his bike in the back of my van and headed downtown to a post office that was touted as being open until midnight that night.
It was a quarter to midnight and anybody downtown that late on a Tuesday night is usually up to no good. I wish I could convey our astounded reactions to the bustle we encountered in approaching the post office. We were busy looking at addresses so we wouldn't pass it and suddenly found ourselves in the midst of a mysterious and desperate traffic jam. Routed to the side by police, I rolled down my window only to have a member of the special forces of the United States Post Office hold out a sack to me and ask for my taxes. Quickly slapping extra stamps on the envelopes, we shoved them out the window only then seeing that we were near the post office. Being pushed and prodded forward by frantic last minute tax payers and workers determined to keep things orderly, we found ourselves on Lake Shore Drive a mere eight minutes later dazed by the whole event. I really feel like I experienced tax day this year! I know that next year I'll pay early, as I always do, but at midnight on the 15th, I'll know what is out there and I can go to bed smugly knowing what I'm missing.
In other news: A man in India plans on being lifted by a helicopter by his ponytail; IronMan came out this weekend and I hear it is ******* awesome; I heard NPR do a bit on Grand Theft Auto IV yesterday, and many of the show's callers were similarly eloquent; and this Saturday is the Kentucky Derby (to find out how much racehorses pee, click here).
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