Important Inventions that Were Not Mentioned in the President's Speech

Please check out my friend's blog on this very topic at: http://elizabetherin.blogspot.com/.

There are a few inventions however, that she failed to incorporate that I think our President might have bothered to mention:

The cross-nationality noodle steam reducer! Now you can start eating your hot meal RIGHT AWAY!

Our calorie deficit is getting out of control! Now we can apply butter to our toast without the hassle of using a butter knife and spreading!

And in other news: Lindsay Lohan has a healthy appetite, Brandy is getting super sued (with lasers!), and lo and behold...... the earth's climate change is 'very likely' due to human activities.

Oh, my goodness. Everybody behave naturally.

Since it is Tuesday, and I am currently still in my pajamas being obviously very productive, I made myself French Toast for breakfast. I never take advantage of the fact that I'm at home in the mornings! Why not? And so today..... splurging gluttonously, I made some amazing and fattening and delicious french toast. I would supply you with a picture but a) I can't find my camera battery charger, b) I ate it way to fast anyway, and c) you're probably not interested.

In other news that has nothing to do with me:

1. Wolves are being taken off the endagered species list in three states and might be removed in three more in the next year! Isn't that cool? I think its cool. (To clarify the reasoning (kindly pointed out to me), it is because they are no longer endangered).

An Idaho Wolf. Soon to be taken off the endangered species list!

2. Japanese opposition parties tell the health minister to resign for calling women "birth-giving machines". Haha. Go brilliant men in politics!

The Tokyo Domes lit up. Much more interesting to look at than a picture of the Japanese health minister.

3. Archaeologists say they have found a huge ancient settlement used by the people who built Stonehenge. Real news. Fascinating news.

4. Malta is the only place in Europe where abortion is completely banned. Even to save the life of the mother, which is silly, because most of the time, if she dies, she takes the baby along with her. Ireland is the next most strict country.

5. Am I boring you with the news? Two more.

6. Three ex-ministers of Nepal's King are arrested on suspicion of conspiring to encourage violence in Southern Nepal. Brilliant! Suspicion of conspiring to encourage violence.

One of the Malta Ministers in the back of a police car! Conspiring to encourage violence!

7. And in England, the euphemism for drunk used for the press (since it is considered slander if you actually say drunk, plastered, inebriated, etc) is "tired and emotional." What my English friends must think of me!

Colin Firth. He's English. You can tell by the wallpaper.

The State of the Union

Last night was the state of the union address
I wasn't excited to watch it unless
I learned something new
That wasn't untrue
And didn't leave me with feelings of distress. (BAH!)

NCLB isn't working however
It hasn't been given the chance
Immigration is a concern
We want illegal workers to earn
A temporary worker program we must finance. (Wow. This is terrible!)

Health Insurance still must be privatized
Is privatized even a word?
Another tax break
Designed just to make
A problem today to tomorrow deferred.

A Diversified fuel supply is a must
But does "clean coal" even exist?
A half hour of this depression
And he's on to the bigger question
How long in Iraq will we persist??

We have a new strategy this time.
America has to give it a chance!
This time we won't fail
It's down to detail
Twenty thousand more troops to advance!

Iran is a problem once again
We fear they might be going nuclear
Some crap about diplomacy
Nothing rhymes with diplomacy
Bush still mispronounces it nucyoolur. (which doesn't rhyme)

The thing that really upsets me
Is the genocide going on in Darfur
With our sense of responsibility
Isn't it just hostility
To ignore it and let it occur?

Finally, the speech started to bore me.
Everybody falsely seemed to agree
I started to daydream
Because this address didn't seem
Like anything that would have an effect on me.

Time then to turn to Gilmore Girls:
My typical Tuesday communion.
A fantasy town
To successfully drown
My despair over the state of our union.

This is the worst poem I've ever written. In fact, I can't call it a poem. It is a mess. And if you read this far, well...... WOW! You must really love me!

A Reason to Leave your House

Happy Buxtehude Pizza Tuesday to all of you!

Some of you already know about my tradition and SOME of you may think that Buxtehude is the name of a German organist with the first name of Dietrich who was an influence on Bach. And in some ways you would be correct. However, the meaning of buxtehude that is sweeping the nation is:

Bux*te*hu*de ..buks-te-hu-de.. n. : a casual gathering among friends usually involving good food, the occasional alcoholic beverage, and scintillating conversation. (a weekly television program may be substituted for the conversation portion of the buxtehude).

This Buxtehude Tuesday also happens to be Election Day. I didn’t vote. I am still registered in Wyoming and to my husband’s chagrin when he tried to register us in Colorado……. We had missed the deadline. We could vote absentee…… but why? So the voters in Cheyenne could laugh at the two votes the Democratic party received in their state?

Interestingly (living in a military town; two airforce bases, the airforce academy, an army base, and NORAD), the Army Times published an editorial titled “Time for Rumsfeld to Go.” Also interestingly…. Dick Cheney is gracing my town with his presence today. Maybe if I go for a drive I can run him over! Ahem. I mean maybe I can catch sight of him!

WHY people live in Colorado Springs:

HOW people live in Colorado Springs:

But back to the election….. correspondents of BBC news say that Democratic control of even one house of Congress would mean legislative gridlock. In 36 states today, people are voting for new governors. Colorado is one of them. I hate election days. They simply remind me of the last one. And I was living in Wyoming then!

Luckily for me though, any discouragement I tend to feel can always be ameliorated with a delicious meal. Tonight, of course, it is pizza.

In other news: Kevin Federline just as pathetic as you imagined, minute rice is no where NEAR as good as long grain, Eva Longoria wishes she were made of bronze, and Paris Hilton bruises easily.